The Knife and the Light
Posted: August 7, 2026 Filed under: consciousness, Portfolio - Elena's work 1 Comment
When I was a child we would eat fish on Fridays, scrambled eggs and bacon at Sunday brunch, charcoal-grilled eight-and-a-half-minute hamburgers on weekends, and in the scrum that was an Irish Catholic family dinner, cross talk by everyone at once, the push-pull of ideas, food passed with the caveat “Don’t spill the milk!” From her end of the table my mother would speak up, raising the mystery of duality in humans, “we are souls in animal bodies.”
In her college days, my mother had read Teilhard de Chardin; he was the pioneering but controversial French Jesuit scientist and priest, while she, wearing a beret and smoking cigarettes in the greenhouse, had been a young radical artist. By the time I entered the story, she was married with children but still encouraged us to ponder the great mystery. The dinner conversation would rapid fire move on – my extrovert father quick with puns and one liners – while my mother was quieter, introspective.
We are endowed with spirit within a mortal physical body. A very long time ago Aristotle explored the material world in his Physics before turning to first principles in his Metaphysics. The task of reconciling the two still is left to us.
We live at the crossroads of duality: mind and body, male and female, good and evil, past and future, animal and divine. The divine cannot be superior nor the animal lesser. Wholeness depends upon their balance, the fuel required to build consciousness. That is a most challenging place to be, in a culture obsessed with the rational, material and physical – the quantitative – much less so with awe, stillness, and the intuitive mythopoetic – the qualitative.
We have perfected the machinery of output, efficiency, optimization, and hyper-rational self-interest. Jacob Needleman, the philosopher and religious scholar, observed, “we have come to know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.” We increasingly live in a culture of Mammon. We deify money. Human life is cheap.
How do we find our way out of this rabbit hole? The challenge is to remember, always, that we live in the present through consciousness, which is experiential awareness. The rational cognitive mind excels at analysis, but on its own, it tends to zero-sum binaries: us versus them, profit versus loss, winner versus loser. This is the outward focus. But consciousness is personal and internal, functioning in the present moment, receiving meaning and feeling. Consciousness is a light; the rational mind is a knife. We need the knife but cannot live by cutting alone. Consciousness, like a fulcrum, can balance the duality, and feeling is key.
In Money and the Meaning of Life, Needleman wrote: “It is far better to understand a central truth with the whole of oneself than it is to know many things only with the mind. When one knows only with the mind and the feelings are not integrated into the knowing, then the knowledge one has becomes harmful. Technology without ethics is the result of having knowledge without developing the instrument of ethical perception, the feelings. As it was said long ago, ‘The mind is for seeing what is true; the feelings are for understanding what is good.’ ”
What is needed is to restore the qualitative. When we say the purpose of life is healing, this is the qualitative path. When we value the relational over the transactional, this is the qualitative path. When we resist the dopamine of doomscrolled outrage, and replace it with a silent presence to the friction between our animal selves and our spiritual longing, this is the path to a simple, grounded sanity.
If the quantitative goal is accumulation, the qualitative goal is wholeness. Healing is not about erasing our animal limits or eliminating the tension between sacred and profane; it is about bringing them into harmony, a peaceful coexistence. It is learning to stand at the fulcrum without demanding that one side destroy the other.
Facts easily divide people, while cultural stories can unite. When we rely only on the rational knife, myth becomes its necessary counterpoint. I was fortunate, at college, to study Classical Languages, reading the Iliad and the Odyssey, but also, to meet and hear Joseph Campbell speak. His work on comparative mythology showed that cultures across time share common narrative forms of consciousness – the hero’s journey to transformation and truth.
From Gilgamesh to Odysseus, from Arjuna to King Arthur: stories of departure, initiation, and return bearing newfound wisdom. The renewed fascination with The Odyssey seems culturally telling. As dissent and argument build to a crescendo, I can’t help but wonder if we the people are simply yearning for any path forward.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual experiences having a human experience.” This saying attributed to Teilhard de Chardin captures the supreme adventure of creation. I was awakened to this mystery at my childhood dinner table, and it challenges my mind still. Now raising my own children, we begin the story by breaking bread together.
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Lead photo by Elena
Ignorance or Arrogance
Posted: July 31, 2026 Filed under: Child Centered Activities, Chronicles of a First Time Parent 2 CommentsWhen I was a boy, a common saying was “A man’s word is his bond.” I haven’t heard that spoken in decades. Today we speak of fake news, deep fake AIs, identity theft, accusations of fraud, corruption and cover ups. We liberally condemn each other with name calling like a grade school playground, but to speak of integrity seems increasingly uncommon. Our culture, it seems, wants to fight to the bottom.
Talk is cheap but we are accountable. Actions have consequences. This week’s homeschool lesson was a moral equivalent of Newton’s Third Law of Motion: every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Rather than give my son a lecture, I bought him a chain saw. My goal was to teach personal responsibility not as an abstraction but as a tactile physical experience.
I was not qualified to teach this class. My father was a wordsmith, who didn’t know a hammer from a nail; his tool was a typewriter and thesaurus, with which he was exceptionally skilled. He and I never bonded over power tools. I learned use of a chain saw through on-the-job-training: “this is the brake, here is the trigger, hold it like this. Go.” With a chain saw I am competent, but most certainly I have no command. I would have been pushing my limit to teach this course.
Often a boy learns best from an unrelated teacher, so I hired a journeyman; a 240 pound, 6 foot 3 inch tall, tattooed, muscular, shaved head white male who grew up on a homestead in the woods of New Hampshire. He has been using a chain saw since he was ten. A carpenter by trade, his skills are many, including plumbing and electric, a licensed firearms instructor, with training as a field medic. A published author, he is “The Everything Man.”
He required my son to buy and wear personal protective equipment: a helmet with face screen and ear protection plus chaps to protect his legs, steel toed boots and gloves. The class began at the back of his pick-up truck where an array of tools were laid out: a camp axe and a felling axe, his handmade bow saw, a machette and two gas powered chain saws. My son has an electric 16” chain saw and a pole saw.
A chain saw spins between 12,000 and 14,500 RPMs at full throttle, which is more than 6 times the RPM of an airplane propeller. You must respect that the blade will cut you down in an instant. During a brief opening lecture the Man explained that mistakes are caused “by ignorance or arrogance.” On the one hand is the lack of information, knowledge or training, while on the other is an excess of pride, a lack of respect for the tool. The class was designed to avoid the first problem, while the teacher’s humble honesty addressed the second.
Dressed in his protective gear, my son and the Man walked to the backyard to cut down a rotting maple tree. It is located outside our fence line, beside the sidewalk along a busy road. I had asked the town to take it down, but the arborist replied that it was our responsibility, and, once brought to his attention, it was on his list of trees to watch.
The trunk is thoroughly rotted. One large section fell years ago – before we owned this house – while the remaining branches reach over the fence, stretching almost thirty feet into our back yard. One large limb, about 14” diameter, grows straight up and becomes enmeshed in branches of other trees. This tree was a challenge, a lesson in strategy and gravity.
My son could use the pole saw to reach the lower limbs, but he needed to be mindful of where the limb would fall and then stand behind that. By cutting from above, the branch would fall down and his saw would not get pinched. A saw can get pinched, though, and that can become a serious issue. I was once cutting down an invasive maple, 8” diameter and 40 feet tall. A friend was holding a rope to pull the tree, but the rope was not firm enough and as I cut deeply, the tree swayed back pinching the saw. The saw could not cut, nor could I remove it; a frighteningly serious problem. I knew you cannot leave a tree halfway cut through the trunk. But I had no axe. I had ignorance. But thankfully, I had a neighbor who knew what to do, had a tree rope and chain saw, and saved the day. The Everything Man ensured my son learned from my mistake.
Once the limbs were on the ground, my son was handed a razor sharp machette and taught how to swing that blade, to slash cut away the smaller limbs, removing the clutter before using the chain saw. There is a logical process, moving from the smaller branches to the larger end, when cutting for firewood. The 16” blade equals the length of logs usable in our wood stove, and my son was shown how to use the blade as his measuring stick, for cutting to length. This work went quickly, but the tree was so rotted, we gained little useable firewood.
An electric chain saw is surprisingly quiet, while gas powered saws are ferociously loud and aggressive, commanding immediate respect. Its raw power leaves no room for carelessness.
The final exam came when The Everything Man got out his gas powered Stihl chain saw. He reviewed all the features, then handed it to my son. In learning how to handle such a powerful tool, my son grew in confidence. He experienced what it meant to command his tool, making each cut under his control. This lesson of accountability was a direct physical experience, not theory, not logic, not gaming online.
That one limb, 14” diameter, growing straight up into the canopy above, we left in place. That requires an arborist who can climb the tree, using tools beyond what we had. It would have been ignorance or arrogance, or both, to attempt to fell that, so our prudence was its own lesson of setting boundaries.
When the cutting was done, the class returned to the pickup truck, for a discussion about cleaning and maintenance. The Everything Man showed both how to dismantle the saw to clean wood chips from the inner parts, and how to sharpen the blade. It is a slow methodical process, three passes at 30 degrees, essential to maintaining the blade’s sharp edge, which is another form of integrity, of accountability. The teacher gave examples of one chain lasting a lifetime, or needing to buy new chains frequently; the only difference is care.
“Chop wood, carry water” is a maxim of Chan Buddhism, that teaches life is lived through ordinary work, not abstractions. Much about life is repetitive, dull, and unremarkable. Integrity is forged in the care of our tools, the honoring of our words, and the acceptance of responsibility. The chain saw was the lesson this week. I said very little. He repeatedly said “thank you.”













Yellow Sky
Posted: July 24, 2026 Filed under: consciousness 1 CommentYellow skies press down from the Great Lakes to the Northeast. From Minnesota to Massachusetts air quality issues abound. “Code Red” and “Code Purple” alerts sound in the Mid-Atlantic, Detroit’s Air Quality Index (AQI) hits 724, while Duluth, MN skyrockets to 924, an environmental emergency far exceeding the threshold for “Hazardous” air. The concentration of fine particulate matter is so dense that it poses immediate, severe health threats to every person, regardless of their health status. But real men do not wear N95 masks.
More than 1,000 Canadian forest fires are the cause of recent events. Science shows industrial activity and fossil fuels contribute to this weather, but politicians express outrage at forest management practices. A warming climate is just another Chinese hoax, or, to use the popular cliche, “it is what it is.” Or, is it symbolic?
This week our July Book Club read “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky,” a short story by Stephen Crane, one of the most innovative authors of his generation. In 1895 he published “The Red Badge of Courage” to critical acclaim, what H.G. Wells called an “orgy of praise.” Crane’s storytelling prowess was so fine that he crafted “The Red Badge” entirely in his imagination, since he had no experience on the battlefield. The use of color and chiaroscuro are vitally present in his writing, and scholars compare his writing not only to Impressionist painting, but suggest that he influenced the painters. Vivid, that is.
Yellow Sky is the name of a fictional town in western Texas at the end of the wild western frontier. In “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky”, the town marshal, Jack Potter, has gone east to find a bride, to embrace domestic life. As the story opens the bride and groom ride west in a train, from San Antonio. The plush car is no stagecoach. They dine in the parlor car – cost is no concern – where the Negro Porters wait upon them. “They were evidently very happy.” Potter was “…a man known, liked, and feared in his corner, a prominent person….” who trades his twin revolvers for a suit and silver pocket watch. He went East to court a woman, no longer to fight with men.
During his absence, several men drink in the town bar, when a drunken man named Scratchy Wilson appears to terrorize the town. The barkeep explains, “You see, this here Scratchy Wilson is a wonder with a gun—a perfect wonder; and when he goes on the war trail, we hunt our holes—naturally. He’s about the last one of the old gang that used to hang out along the river here. He’s a terror when he’s drunk.”
Behold the classic myth of the American west manosphere: the man in the white hat fights the thug dressed in black, rugged independence everywhere abounds in a frontier wild, open, and free. Western movies, foundational to American culture, commanded almost 30% of all Hollywood films in the post-WWII era. With 50 Westerns debuting annually and saturating television with serialized shows, the genre established a new cultural temple of patriotism and masculinity just as we Boomers were born.
“The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky” speaks of the end of an era, of change. Railroads, the “Iron Horse,” thundered West bringing consumer goods, fashion and ideas from the East. The wild west changed when self-reliance was replaced by shared modern culture. Jack Potter’s bride from the east represents feminine grace, his rough edges smoothed; no guns brought to court her. Their homecoming represents family, home and permanence, the antithesis of a home on the range. The “yellow sky” represents sunset, which is an ending, lights off, curtain down.
This week’s short story bears striking relevance to the world in which my son, and his peers, come of age. Our society seems to teeter on the edge, both sides of the political aisle locked in an endless struggle of “us versus them,” divisiveness all the rage, tempers hot, like the climate, only get hotter. Masculine aggression is on steroids, like cage fighters dueling on the front lawn, modern heroes of our wild west.
Scratchy Wilson enters “into the middle of the main street of Yellow Sky…in either hand the man held a long, heavy, blue-black revolver.” He is dressed “in a maroon-colored flannel shirt, which had been purchased for purposes of decoration and made, principally, by some Jewish women on the east side of New York.” The last of a dying breed, even he wears the clothes from an Eastern city.
Looking for a fight, he begins shooting at a dog. “At sight of the man, the dog sprang up and walked diagonally away, with a sullen head, and growling. The man yelled, and the dog broke into a gallop. As it was about to enter an alley, there was a loud noise, a whistling, and something spat the ground directly before it. The dog screamed, and, wheeling in terror, galloped headlong in a new direction. Again there was a noise, a whistling, and sand was kicked viciously before it. Fear-stricken, the dog turned and flurried like an animal in a pen. The man stood laughing, his weapons at his hips.”
Scratchy Wilson wants more violence, and so he sets off looking for the town marshal, Jack Potter. The myth of the isolated individual is built upon the illusion of separation, of “divide and conquer.” This is the dying breed, to my son’s generation, when science increasingly shows that a forest is not separate solitary trees but an integrated ecosystem, while studies of humpback whales suggest they adopt complex songs from neighboring groups; an animal form of cultural transmission. Research continues, showing interconnectedness is a growing theme.
For millennia, many societies have celebrated an ego-centered dominance, a focus upon conquest, violence and material quantity, rather than healing and an internal quality. There is reason to wonder if the excessive preening among authoritarian-minded males today is not their yellow sky moment, their plaintive war cry of a dying breed, the end of an era that has lasted too long. My son reads “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky” in this context.
On the topic of myths from the manosphere, consider this combat search-and-rescue prayer recently recited at the Department of War:
“The path of the downed aviator is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of camaraderie and duty, shepherd the lost through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to capture and destroy my brother. And you will know my call sign is Sandy 1 when I lay my vengeance upon thee, and amen.”
Contrast that to the words of the Aramaic-speaking radical, from 2000 years ago, of deeds such as walking on water, raising the dead, multiplying loaves and fishes, “These and greater things ye shall do.” This teaching speaks of elevating reality toward a unified healing life, not an aggressive combative individual struggle.
Amidst signs of social decay, the New York Times bestseller “A World Appears, a Journey into Consciousness” writes of a Copernican Moment of awakening. There is good reason to pause and consider what might be possible, where we collectively are now, how we choose to go forward in an awakening consciousness.
If life imitates art, then the outcome would be already known. In “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky” the climax occurs when bad man Wilson intercepts the marshal Potter and his bride. But the shoot out does not happen. Potter, already married and unarmed, has moved forward leaving Wilson to wallow in his lost past. The old code of the Wild West was never to fight a married man, so Wilson, dressed in boots with “red tops with gilded ornaments, such as are used by little boys” is adrift. The bad man always was just a buffoon.
But our moment now is not the climax, our outcome is not yet known, because symbolically, we are earlier in the story, when the bad man Scratchy Wilson is terrorizing the town, shooting at dogs. This is the lesson for my son to learn as yellow skies hover low as he reads the short story.
My generation, we Boomers, have been trained, generation after generation, to obsess over the climax of conflict, high drama of a courtroom, the cavalry charging in a Saturday matinee, the pistol drawn at High Noon, killings in the streets, the hyper-masculine male at the podium, finger raised, barking at the moon: the court jester of Camelot whose time has passed. The Zoomers and generations to follow will live entirely with an awareness of – and can choose to build community through – ecosystems that are interconnected and interdependent.
My son and his peers must learn to distinguish noise from message, must look past the clown parade of politicians’ false promises, must find within themselves a deeper feeling of purpose simply in being kind and thoughtful; the long journey of healing and restoration. My role, and the purpose of our July Book Club, is to give him a vocabulary to help him on that path.
About those July yellow hazy skies, we can only hope that all people on Gaia wake up to their new reality.
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The lead photo was taken in July 2026 by a community member (such as Chance Paavola or Wayne Wastaken) fleeing the Namaygoosisagagun First Nation (Collins First Nation) in northern Ontario, Canada, as a massive wildfire overran the area. The image was used on Bill McKibbens’ Substack “The Crucial Years.”
Failure
Posted: July 17, 2026 Filed under: Child Centered Activities, Chronicles of a First Time Parent, consciousness 1 CommentHere at the Art Farm Homeschool, summertime living is easy, but not idle. We have created a July Book Club, in which the Magister zooms in, via telecomm, to discuss with my son a short story masterpiece. My son’s recalcitrance to join any club with peers, his aversion to leaving the house, his preoccupation with online gaming left us no choice. The book club is only 4 weeks, while summer break is 12, so the balance of time is definitely skewed to his leisure, but this month, like a fulcrum, he will engage in reading and thoughtful discussion.
This week’s short story is “The Egg,” by Sherwood Anderson. The story is set in the first decade of the 1900s in the fictional town of Bidwell, Ohio. The story’s narrator is a young child, and its protagonist, “the Father,” was “a cheerful and kindly man” whose work was idyllic as a farm hand on a pre-industrial farm. Once married, he “became ambitious. The American passion for getting up in the world took possession.…”
Their path to success was to raise chickens, but the venture fails badly. Having lost that farm, they move into town to start over. They borrow a horse and wagon, load their “cheap chairs” and a crate of live chickens, on top of which, like a crown jewel, the narrator’s baby carriage. “Why we stuck to the baby carriage I don’t know. It was unlikely other children would be born and the wheels were broken. People who have few possessions cling tightly to those they have. That is one of the facts that make life so discouraging.”
The father rode on the wagon, while the Mother and son walked the long eight miles into town, “…a tiny caravan of hope looking for a new place from which to start on our upward journey through life.” The scene eerily foreshadows Steinbeck’s “Grapes of Wrath,” when the migrants flee the Dust Belt, traveling Route 66 to the promised land of California. Long is the dark shadow of the American Dream.
Sherwood Anderson revolutionized 20th-century fiction with a probing and unsparing prose. His stories are set during the Second Industrial Revolution, the transition from steam to electricity, from iron to steel, assembly line production, urbanization, corporate consolidation. His core theme was the lonely, isolated individual, whose youthful truth had grown hardened, an unfulfilled longing, struggling for connection.
During the First Industrial Revolution, seventy years before Anderson, Henry David Thoreau railed at the “Iron Horse” of the Fitchburg Railroad, the tracks laid one-third of a mile from his beloved Walden Pond. The deafening roar of industry intruding on his idyll, he wrote, ”We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us.” He warned the machines were becoming our masters, rendering people into an impotent servitude, “The mass of men lead quiet lives of desperation.”
From Thoreau to Anderson the Industrial Revolutions had completely altered the American landscape. And yet the American Dream held firm, the myth of upward mobility, that each generation would succeed its parents; the tireless labor of one’s youth to acquire wealth, spent in later years to regain health. “Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.”
As a child, I remember family discussions, at the Kitchen table, about the American Dream. For my generation the realization has been remarkable. Nearly 90% of Americans born in the 1940s and 50s earned more than their parents. Because of compounding asset growth in real estate and an essentially bull market since the 1980s, the Baby Boomers hold over $85 trillion in household assets.
The Third Industrial Revolution, the advent of semiconductors and the internet, unfolded during the careers of we Boomers. Since 1993, when the browser Mosaic was launched, catalyzing widespread access to the world-wide-web, the stock market has surged 3,100% further widening the gap between the have and have nots.
Now the world of algorithms and artificial intelligence represent the Fourth Industrial Revolution, during which my son’s generation, the Zoomers, come of age. It goes almost without question that the American Dream fades, the thought of upward mobility increasingly out of reach, while the mental health epidemic spikes.
A recent study published by the Dove Medical Press, an open access peer-reviewed journal, found that “17.14-24.19% of adolescents developed AI dependencies over time, while studies consistently show that mental health problems predict subsequent AI dependence, with social anxiety, loneliness, and depression serving as primary risk factors.” The isolation that Sherwood Anderson wrote about, and the desolation of which Thoreau warned, have only increased. Jacob Needleman, the high school teacher my son learned about in May, cautioned, “When thought races ahead of Being, a civilization is racing towards destruction.”
My son will not read juvenile fiction this summer. The short stories that the Magister has chosen are considered masterpieces, and their hard edge is appropriate for a young man coming of age. Among his age peers, suicide rates have increased 62% since 2007, with boys having significantly higher rates, while Black youths ages 10 to 17 have increased 144% over the same period.
My son comes of age in a conflicted time, an age of skepticism. Sitting on the front porch, we discussed the American Dream, to which he replied, “That may be what it was supposed to be, but that is not how it is.” He is already aware that the American Dream was, at best, a cultural myth, or at least an historical aberration.
It is a sad irony that bankruptcy is used with increasing frequency by older individuals. According to the Consumer Bankruptcy Project, in the last 20 years, the number of people 65 and older filing for bankruptcy has increased to become its fastest-growing demographic group. We Boomers have enjoyed an economic abundance of historic proportions, but now aging, increasing numbers are falling behind.
At the age of 44 I declared a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Mine was the good fortune to fail while young, to still have time to start over. I learned that forgiveness lies at the core of civil jurisprudence, and failure can bring a “fresh start.”
The legal doctrine known as the “Fresh Start” came from the 1934 landmark Supreme Court ruling in Local Loan Co v Hunt, 292 U.S. 234, in which the unanimous opinion, written by Justice George Sutherland, reads,
“One of the primary purposes of the Bankruptcy Act is to ‘relieve the honest debtor from the weight of oppressive indebtedness, and permit him to start afresh free from the obligations and responsibilities consequent upon business misfortunes.’ … [It] gives to the honest but unfortunate debtor… a new opportunity in life and a clear field for future effort, unhampered by the pressure and discouragement of pre-existing debt.”
A financial reset is a civil right, but an interior reset is a human necessity. The depth of my experience redirected my life and taught me that the purpose of life is healing, forgiveness a means to that end, which stands in stark contrast to American culture. Jacob Needleman commented, “The root of materialism is a poverty of ideas about the inner and outer world. Less and less does our contemporary culture have, or even seek, commerce with great ideas, and it is that lack that is weakening the human spirit. This is the essence of materialism. Materialism is a disease of the mind starved for ideas.” Our antidote to the isolation that AI and gaming breed is for my son and the Magister to read short stories during July and exchange ideas.
“The Egg” is told from the perspective of the son, as a grown man, remembering his Father’s failures. My son, a keen observer, forms his own thoughts now, which will include his reflections on my failures. His inheritance from me will be moral more than material. My task is to teach him skill with his tools, depth of character, and an informed view on the isolation plaguing his generation. What he chooses to do with that will become his healing story.
My career advice, should he ever ask, shall come from Thomas Carlyle, who influenced Thoreau and the Transcendentalists, “Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.”
Red Cherry, Black Crow
Posted: July 10, 2026 Filed under: Art & Healing, Chronicles of a First Time Parent, Farming off the Farm Leave a commentThe 7th grade has officially been completed. This week Our Aristotle, a State of Maine certified teacher, completed his annual assessment which I delivered to the School Department.
The interim Superintendent had quit, having been replaced by an Interim-Interim Superintendent. A new Superintendent reportedly has been hired and will begin later this month. They never confirm receipt; I am like a paperboy throwing news into the void, but regardless, we go forward. To reach their office – their sanctus sanctorum – I had to go through two sets of high security doors, that required someone to buzz me in; if our homeschool is relational the School Department seems transactional.
It is summertime. These days the living is not so easy, but the pace here has slowed. We have been working the garden and spreading straw to suppress weeds. Potatoes are thriving. Pole beans snake up the trellis. Tomatoes form on the vine. Coneflowers shout to the sky. Lavender abounds with bees. In the kitchen we have begun making pickles.
Each summer we plant one cucumber seedling, of the pickling varieties, which provides more than we can keep up with. As the roots go down, the shoots sprout up, flowering and bringing our bounty.
Several years ago I worked at the Chebeague Island Inn. The chef had a stellar recipe for Bread-n-Butter pickles, which hotel quantity had to be scaled down for a family of four. This one is a keeper, to be passed down generations.
Slice 4 cucumbers at about 1/4″ thickness, then in a sauce pan combine:
- 1/2 large, onion, sliced thin
- 1T + 2t salt, kosher
- 1/2 C + 1t white vinegar
- 1/4 C + 2T + 2t apple cider vinegar
- 3/4 C + 2T + 2t sugar
- 2 1/2 t mustard seed
- 1/2 t red chili flakes
- 1/4t + celery seed
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 3 allspice berries
- 3 whole cloves
- Pinch turmeric
- 2 1/2 dried chilis
Bring all to a boil, let it cool. Into a one quart Mason jar add the sliced cukes, then pour in the brine. These BnB pickles will keep in the fridge for several weeks.
In other news, the sour cherries have been abundant, more than we can pick, which inspired this haiku:
Red cherries, Black crows
A murder, in our orchard
All sour, no sweet









Urine
Posted: July 3, 2026 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent 1 CommentOur homeschool topic, “What is a Person?” was motivated by an Elder in our community, who has a storied history of decency, civility and commitment both to community and to the Earth.
As a young man, the Elder worked with Helen and Scott Nearing, the grandparents of the back to the land movement. During the March from Selma to Montgomery, the Elder managed the crew of Seminarians who set up all the tents for the Marchers’ daily meals and sleeping. After the March, he stayed and helped build the Selma Free Public Library.
During the Vietnam war he organized protests, then was exiled to Canada where he managed large scale urban construction projects. In 1973 he was arrested, on his return to the United States, for violation of the Selective Service Act. Charges against him were later dropped. He worked in various Union factories, and became, in 1980, a labor activist for the AFL-CIO. In 1987, he helped organize the historic Jay, Maine Paper mill strike against International Paper Company. My son studied this in depth.
The Elder lives off-the-grid on a homestead powered by solar energy, with houses, barns and workshops all built by hand. He and his wife grow their caloric needs raising legumes, chickens, bees, all varieties of annual and perennial vegetables and a forest farm of berries and nuts; they do, though, buy dairy, oils, nuts, seeds, and citrus when needed.
In May I drove my son to their homestead, eagerly anticipating a vital discussion about “What is a Person?” I was stopped by a most unexpected issue: urine.
In keeping with his frugal, wholly integrated living with the natural environment, the Elder saves all their urine, and in the spring, dilutes it with water at a ratio of 1:10 and then applies it to the garden’s root zone as a free, highly concentrated nutrient rich source of nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium (NPK). Consumers at Big-Box garden centers pay between $1 to $3 per pound for NPK-rich organic fertilizers. Since bombing began on the Fertile Crescent, birth-place of agriculture, the cost of fossil fuel-based fertilizers has jumped 30% to 40% in the past three months. The Elder is no fool.
Like almost 90% of American citizens, my children have been raised on city water, using flush toilets on a sewer, so this organic frugality was overwhelming. What to my son seemed a bio-hazard used to fertilize food was a brew too toxic, he was rendered catatonic. After a tour of the gardens, the Elders shared home pressed apple cider and muffins but his appetite was gone. I carried the conversation.
In fact, this was an essential learning opportunity. Here at our Homeschool Academy, I raise my son to question authority, ground his opinions on fact, and consider all sides of a topic. To the mainstream this is a “cringe” factor, but “pee cycling,” the technical term for this practice, is the vanguard; large-scale grassroots community programs are under way in Sweden, China and Vermont. For my son’s Zoomer generation, this will be an increasing issue.
The Global Water Monitoring Report released by the World Bank in November 2025 reported the world is losing 324 billion cubic meters of freshwater every year, enough to meet the needs of 280 million people annually. The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimates that roughly 27% of indoor household water is used just to flush toilets, and four out of five flushes are solely for urine. Human urine makes up less than 1% of the total volume of municipal wastewater, yet it contains roughly 75% of the nitrogen and 55% of the phosphorus.
Municipal waste water systems in the United States pump, treat and distribute more than 39 billion gallons of water per day, consuming 30% to 40% of municipal government energy use while emitting greenhouse gasses, discharging residual nitrogen and phosphorus into local watersheds, catalyzing algae blooms that choke out oxygen, creating dead zones.
My son needs to learn there are two sides to every story, and the fact remains that prior to the advent of modern sewage systems infectious diseases like cholera and dysentery killed millions of people around the world. Arguably, indoor plumbing represents one of the major success stories of government. Even today, India has battled cholera, dysentery and diarrhea and so in 2014 Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s Clean India Mission was launched to modernize solid waste management. More than 100 million latrines have been installed, with nationwide practices to ensure safe drinking water supplies. The World Health Organization has estimated that Water, Sanitation, and Hygiene (WASH) interventions prevent an estimated 1.4 million deaths and 74 million disability-adjusted life-years annually worldwide.
Municipal waste systems come at a high cost. The Congressional Budget Office reports that, in the United States between 1956 and 2014 – the Boomer generation – federal, state, and local governments have spent over $4.1 trillion (adjusted for inflation) on operations, maintenance, and capital infrastructure of water and wastewater utilities. That aging infrastructure increasingly leaks water, and becomes less efficient. The AWWA estimates updating drinking water infrastructure will cost $2.1–$2.4 trillion over the next 25 years (2026–2050), a cost my son’s generation will bear, in addition to national debt exceeding $39 trillion. And growing. People complain about fraud and government waste, but then flush it all down the golden toilet.
In January, the United Nations University Institute for Water, Environment and Health (UNU-INWEH) published “Global Water Bankruptcy: Living Beyond Our Hydrological Means in the Post-Crisis Era,” declaring the dawn of an era of global water bankruptcy. For my son and his peers, this issue will be not abstract but omnipresent. Creative solutions will be needed.
Reclaiming urine reduces the consumption of water while converting a major pollutant into a free hyper-local resource. If “pee-cycling” seems outrageous now, its time may be near. ScienceDirect, a scientific research platform operated by Elsevier, the respected academic publishing house, conducted a multi-national survey of 3763 respondents at 20 different universities across 16 countries asking “people’s willingness to consume food grown using human urine as fertilizer.” 68% of the respondents favored recycling human urine, 59% stated a willingness to eat urine-fertilized food, and only 11% believed that urine posed health risks that could not be mitigated by treatment.
With urine as number 1 on our list, the number 2 topic is feces. A hyper-local solution is readily available in the “humanure” movement. Recycling human excrement has been practiced for thousands of years, including “night soil” collected in towns of China, Korea, and Japan. Evidently it was common throughout the Middle Ages, but fell out of favor around the 19th century with the advent of flush toilets and municipal water systems. Since the mid-90s, however, “night soil” has regained traction.
The Mother Tree, who teaches my son “biogeochemistry” – a/k/a Soil Science – is at the vanguard of the “humanure” movement. In 2008, she launched the “Humble Pile” project as a nutrient recovery project in dense urban Chicago. She recruited 22 volunteer households, providing “dry bucket toilets,” snap on seats, and sawdust to eliminate odors and catalyze the carbon-to-nitrogen balance. Her goal was to “transform waste into fertility, pollution into resource, and isolation into connection.”
For three months she personally collected the buckets and transported them – by bicycle – to a location outside the city, for the high-heat composting process, to ensure pathogens like E. Coli were killed off. In total, she diverted 1,500 gallons of waste from Chicago’s water treatment system. And in the end, “The Great Giveback” returned the nutrient soil back to the volunteers, in parcels, for use in their gardens. The cycle was complete. Community, connected.
In 2009, Time Magazine published “Humanure: Goodbye, Toilets. Hello, Extreme Composting” that described projects in rural Pennsylvania; Austin, Texas; Marin County, California; as well as Chicago’s “Humble Pile.” The Mother Tree was introduced as “…a self-described radical ecologist” and quoted, “I’ve sent a sample in for a coliform test. There is zero detectable fecal bacteria.”
In Arthur Magazine, she was quoted, “I’m not treating it chemically. I trust microorganisms to do it for me. As an ecologist, I don’t expect law to keep up with me—it’s more important to get this done. I’m just interested in people understanding that their body is producing soil all the time, and there’s no reason not to return it back to earth.”
My son’s visit to the Elder was not a waste, but an awakening. Where I hoped for dialogue, he experienced a basic physical truth, uncomfortable as that may be. To the mainstream, we live on Planet Earth. The Anxious Generation has been trained to experience life through a screen. But the Mother Tree and the Elder show him we live with Planet Earth.
In terms of “What is a Person?” they each demonstrate, quietly and profoundly, in my son’s presence, that a person is not a passive consumer, but an accountable participant in our community and ecosystem. To the consumer, life is linear, a constant quest for accumulation of more, regardless of the waste left behind. To the steward, life is circular where recycling creates nutrient rich soil, to grow nutrient rich foods to nourish the body; by owning the full consequences of living, an environmental pollutant is converted into life-giving food.
Humanure is but a humble lesson in entropy: heat – 135 to 160 degrees F – kills off the pathogens, creating bio-rich soil, sweet smelling, as fresh as the forest. Complex organic matter is violently broken down in thermophilic (hot) compost; fragmented, and disassembled. Humus is left behind —an incredibly stable, chemically complex, and highly organized soil matrix. The stuff of life. Giving off heat, the microbes build a structured, nutrient-dense masterpiece in the soil.
The Second Law of Thermodynamics states the total entropy of the universe always increases: the “Arrow of Time” points ever forward. But through stewardship, my son’s generation can return the cycle to a restorative, nurturing future: waste converted into growth, into nourishing food.
Any city-raised boy can learn this lesson. Very likely all the Zoomers will need to learn this humble lesson. This will be our 8th grade lesson.
Hanging
Posted: June 26, 2026 Filed under: Art & Healing, Chronicles of a First Time Parent 2 Comments“You can get used to hanging, if you have to,” my father would say so often, when I was a boy. I grew up in the era of free love, but my Father was of a different era, of the Silent Generation.
He had grown up in Kentucky, in an extended family generations of whom worked on the railroad, as Laborers, Shop Foremen, Section Supervisor, although his Father had risen to be an Engineer. The saying is “beneath every railroad tie lies a dead Irishman” and I can only imagine how hard those times must have been. My Father was silent on that.
My Father’s oldest brother, Danny, broke the mold, at the age of 26, when he became the Business Manager of the Calumet Farm, in the thoroughbred bluegrass region. During the championship years when the legendary Whirlaway ran like the wind, Danny managed the operation, winning the Triple Crown – the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes – in 1941. While Danny worked, my Father, age 13 (my son’s age now), would idle away the hours, reading under the Bur Oak, Blue Ash, or Kentucky Coffeetrees towering overhead; an idyllic, wildly exciting, and defining era at the iconic racing stable.
After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, in December of 1941, Danny enlisted in the United States Army Air Corp. Old enough not to go, he volunteered, such was his Code of Honor. Eventually he was sent to Iwo Jima where he was killed, stabbed while he slept, on March 26, 1945. Japanese kamikazes were hiding on the island, and struck in the dead of night, when the Marines’ guard was down.
The US Army Messengers drove to the family’s house, then walked to the front porch to deliver the news. My Father, home alone, would have greeted them, his world crushing down upon him, his world slipping away. Danny had been like a father to him, they shared a very close bond, and this news must have been devastating. Which he received in solitude, standing on the front porch, in Paris, Kentucky.
“You can get used to hanging, if you have to,” my Father would say so often, but I could not fathom the generations of pain that lay buried behind those words. My Father never spoke of Danny.
Even during the “make love, not war,” era when I came of age, the ethos still, voiced by every male authority figure – coaches, Priests and teachers – was “no pain, no gain! Play through the pain!” My generation’s masculinity was forged in a cauldron not so very different from my Father; among alpha Boomers, dominance seems on steroids these days.
For countless generations a set of unwritten, unspoken rules have largely defined masculinity, with the emphasis upon toughness, stoicism and emotional suppression. Referred to as the “Boy Code” its core tenets are:
- The Sturdy Oak: be not vulnerable and project strength
- Give ‘em Hell: aggressive, competitive risk taking is the key to success
- The Big Wheel: the alpha male, driven to dominate, and achieve status and power
- No Sissy Stuff: thou shalt not show emotion, nor any feminine traits
- The Cowboy: self-reliance needs no help
Increasingly I am convinced that this Code, and its dominant alpha males are the dinosaurs, flailing as their “no pain, no gain” and “money is the measure of the man” ethos begins to crack, fail, and fall. The “Copernican Moment” of multi-dimensional consciousness is coming.
The futurist Alvin Toffler famously argued that the public educational system was designed during the Industrial Revolution, training obedient, punctual workers for assembly lines, rather than creative, independent thinkers. The industrial model used three symbols: the bell, the authoritarian teacher, and repetitive work. The bell taught when to begin and to end, like a factory shift. The hierarchical top-down model of authority taught obedience, not to question authority. Straight rows, grouped by age, rote memorization taught to the standardized test, molded children to an imposed order. Such was my generation’s educational model. I vividly recall in my 8th grade, the smell of mimeographed math worksheets, a teacher who smelled of whiskey endlessly passing the damp purple pages down the straight line of desks, her worksheets replacing engagement with rote repetition.
Toffler famously said, “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” As to what this “continual learning and relearning” means I turned for advice to Our Aristotle, who provides the annual assessment for my son’s homeschooling.
Our Aristotle works on the front lines of the local public school system. Over six years, he has worked in three different local school districts, teaching all ages from K through middle school. He values connection, and holds the high distinction of being fired 30-minutes before the end of the school year, for refusing – at the order of an authoritarian Assistant Principal – to abandon his students on the last day, their final minutes, refusing to change classes to be mere marshall for a different class. Our Aristotle stood his ground, and so the Assistant Principal fired him, but gained nothing.
At his most recent position Our Aristotle was chastised for being not stern enough, not “cracking the whip,” being too playful. He values connection, empathy and relationship, but the administration wants to impose order, strict rules, shaming.
In his first teaching position he was a “Special Needs Ed Tech,” lowest on the totem pole, which also meant closest to the front line; working daily with children on the spectrum of ADHD, ADD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His mantra was:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, …to me.
He learned patience. He taught connection. He got on the floor and played. He saw, and sees, the educational system as a broken and outdated model, teaching to the test, to metrics designed by accountants and economists, to inculcate ever-increasing efficiency from the next generation of worker bees; pliant cogs in the industrial machine.
His approach is relational, emotional, about belonging, to which he explains, “…students will not care about things unless they seem relevant to their lives. Like learning about probability via poker or … about elements of the periodic table alongside welding. School should provide opportunities for students to see how their learning applies to their reality, and it can also be used to connect students with their communities. That’s impossible when they feel that school itself is alien to their lives, and it feels alien because they have to learn about concepts and ideas in a vacuum in order to score well on assessments. All that knowledge goes out the window post test since it isn’t grounded in anything real.”
Our Aristotle’s approach is grounded, historically, in the writings of Lev Vygotsky, from the 1930s, whose sociocultural theory emphasized the role of social interaction and culture in learning. Vygotsky taught that the “More Knowledgeable Other” guides the learner forward, along their path. The role of the Other is to observe and find the optimal spot where the young student can proceed independently, while receiving guidance and encouragement from the avuncular Other. Not an authoritarian dominant master, but one offering encouragement, a sense of belonging; agency in a cooperative affirming way.
In terms of my family, Great Uncle Danny – stabbed as he slept on the black rocks of Iwo Jima – was the “More Knowledgeable Other” shaping my Father’s childhood.
The old guard of stoic accountability and testing continues to hold sway. Margaret Spellings, a secretary of education when the No Child Left Behind Act was signed, advocates to restore “the muscle of accountability, the muscle of assessment.”
“The Nation’s Report Card” shows that 8th-grade reading scores on national assessments are currently at their lowest point since 1990. But metrics of failing accountability are vastly different from a student flourishing. Danny was there for my Father, but many children today – boys especially – lack the “More Knowledgeable Other.”
The Center for Disease Control data shows that 40 percent of high school students report persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. One in five had seriously considered suicide; nearly one in 10 had attempted it. 23% of students were chronically absent in the 2024-25 school year, far above the pre-pandemic rate of 15%. The SNF Agora Institute at Johns Hopkins found that 40 percent of Zoomers believe political violence can be justified, compared with 11 percent of Boomers.
Science and history support the fact that life and learning are cooperative. Suzanne Simard is the groundbreaking forestry scientist whose Mother Tree Project teaches forests are deeply interconnected systems, not just Darwinian collections of individual trees. Yuval Noah Harari is a historian trained at Oxford University, whose books have sold forty-five million copies in sixty-five languages. His core thesis is simply that cooperation is the key to human societies; our ability to create collective stories is unique among animals thereby guiding diverse humans to cooperate flexibly.
When compassion becomes key, then “spare the rod and spoil the child” will no longer pertain. The change from the “Cowboy Big Wheel” to a cooperative culture will be a long slow transition, its realization not preordained. Certainly not in my lifetime, maybe not even in my son’s, but a cooperative nurturing culture is a goal worthy of pursuit.
I am homeschooling my son. My task is to prepare him for his future, not my past; I can be as a hinge, this moment a fulcrum, my role as “Knowledgeable Other” to provide my son with a grounded sense of belonging, in a culture when competition gives way to cooperation, to continual learning and relearning, to a shared flourishing.
____________________________








It Came To Pass
Posted: June 19, 2026 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent | Tags: jacob-needleman, jay-local-14 2 CommentsWhereas it is written, “In the beginning was the word” so our homeschool began with words. For our Language Arts class, I was fortunate to hire the Magister, a scholar of Greek and Latin, who has taught all ages Latin and English, and, to adults, the crafts of grammar, logic and rhetoric – the essence of writing. He agreed to teach my son.
The Magister began, in September, introducing the three elements of language: words, phrases and clauses. “We combine these three elements, along with a few marks of punctuation, to build sentences and express our thoughts, no matter how simple or complex.” My son learned the difference between subject and predicate, between verb and noun; fragments as different from sentences simple, complex, or compound. Structure and method applied, the Magister lead my son through the maze of meaning, made clear.
My son was challenged to use a dictionary – not online, but the plain, old fashioned, heavy tactile book taken off the shelf – both to define words and to find synonyms of words. My son was taxed to handwrite his answers, using pencil on paper, like generations who have gone down this path, before him.
Deeper into the maze, he learned that words express ideas using syntax, grammar, and the eight parts of speech. Nouns are common or proper, and never the two shall meet. Verbs have objects, but so too prepositions, and the same word can be a preposition or an adverb; preposition denotes relationship, while an adverb answers to “where, when, how, how much, why.”
Many verbs take an object, but some do not, thus are intransitive. There are verbs of existence, like the verb to be, which takes no object, thus being is subject only, no separation, meaning that all life is one. The study of words leads to questions of being.
And so, deeper still into the maze of meaning, my son was lead by the Magister. The Greek alphabet was memorized, because its non-Roman characters afford the young mind a sense that symbols are arbitrary yet infinitely powerful tools for expression; mark making is meaning making.
My son was challenged to memorize poetry, and he also learned to read the Koine Greek Gospel of John, chapter 1, verse 1, a text essential to the corpus of Occidental culture. Some argue that culture is being replaced; my son, then, shall know well both its core belief and the larger truth that all people are created equal. Ever deeper the magister went, and my son followed, showing up always prepared for class, tete-a-tete, no hiding in the back of the classroom. Homeschool is a one-on-one intellectual chess match. Seeds have been planted.
Now in the 10th month, we bring all this together, Language Arts and Humanities, in a final summative essay on the topic “What is a Person?” This topic arose around 1 May – May Day, the International Workers’ Day – when I drove north to Jay, Maine, the site of a vicious labor strike where International Paper Corporation – a fictive person – laid low and cut down without regret the real persons residing in Jay. If “what is a person?” is abstract, paper mills on the Androscoggin River Valley are specific, tangible and real. Knowledge can be general and abstract, but specific particularity makes it concrete. Jay, Maine has been our exhibit A.
My son learned the concept of an outline, structure that gives form to thought, and so we began. Each week’s Friday “art farm” post has been my son’s Monday weekly reading. The Magister assigned an essay by the philosopher Jacob Needleman, a commencement address given to high school students, “The One Great Question.” From the library I checked out the book Pain on Their Faces: Testimonies on the Paper Mill Strike, Jay, Maine, 1987-1988 published 1998 by the Jay-Livermore Falls Working Class History Project. My son read his primary source materials.
As a carpenter, of the trades and not a professional, I used an analogy to help my son understand our process: imagine we are at the lumber yard, going through a stack of 2x4s to find those few straight and true, and reject the curved, twisted or split: many are culled, few are chosen. The 2x4s are the noun phrases which define the heading, subheading, and smaller ideas, together, all of which frame the logical argument.
The outlines having been crafted, my analogy changed to a mason laying bricks. The noun phrases, fragments, were now substantives, like bricks held by the mortar of grammar and punctuation. The outline gave clarity in forethought, allowing the writing to proceed clearly. In fact, a mason worked next door laying stone, building a wall as my son built his argument.
Here then, is my son’s final summative essay, a work not possible in September but 10-months into this holy experiment, his written word has been accomplished. We have climbed a mountain, scaled a wall, and at the top, his view is both honest and expansive.
What is a Person?
Throughout my life, I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about the question, “What is a person?” And although it might seem like a simple answer, it’s far (and I mean like FAR) from simple. To start to understand this question, we need to break it down. A good way to do that is by making an outline. We can start with the topic of “what is a person?” Then make two more groups from the topic which are called the “real persons,” and the “fictive person.”
A “real person” is pretty much exactly what it sounds like; a living and breathing thing. Plato described them as “featherless bipeds,” Aristotle said a “thought bearing political animal,” and the Buddhists went with a suffering self – the burden bearer – experiencing birth, death and rebirth.
A “fictive person,” is (in legal terms) a non-human entity – like a corporation – with legal rights, duties, and responsibilities, legally distinct from the humans who manage or own them. The word “Corporation” is derived from the Latin corpus which translates to the word body.
In 1987, in the small town of Jay, Maine, the International Paper Company (a.k.a IP) ran into a problem, but little did they know, it would shape labor history forever. IP was doing quite well, their profits having risen 33%, and their net sales up 42% to $7.8 billion. Because that clearly wasn’t enough, IP started cutting wages, high monthly health insurance payments, stopping double-time pay on Sundays, and cutting all holidays (which includes Christmas). So, Jay Local 14 (the union they were all in) went on strike. They would form picket lines, a long row of strikers standing outside of the main entrance road and gates to the mill, holding picket signs.
This is a perfect example of the fictive person against the real person. Unfortunately, after a 16 month long strike, IP broke Local 14. The strikers were permanently replaced with scabs (scabs were workers that chose to go back to work instead of continuing the strike with their coworkers). In 2006 the mill was sold. Its waste remains, contaminating the Androscoggin River, known today as “Cancer Valley.” From Rumford downstream, incidences of cancer and illness are well above average, both from the chemicals discharged into the river and the mountains trapping pollutants in the air.
Here is a short story from the book, Pain on Their Faces: Testimonies on the Paper Mill Strike Jay, Maine, 1987-1988, by the Jay-Livermore Falls Working Class History Project, where Janice Brackett, a wife of one of the mill employees, shares her perspective on IP during the strike.
“It was horrible. I had to work two jobs to help keep things going. I hope I don’t see another strike like it. I worked every week at the food bank. We handled a lot of food for the people. At the beginning of the strike, I was on the picket line as often as I could be, no matter what the weather was, but we were there for a good reason. I went on bus trips and caravans near and far and we fought hard. I attended every weekly meeting. I was hard on the picket lines to see those scabs going in and taking our husbands’ jobs. This was all due to IP being greedy.”
Jacob Needleman taught high school philosophy, and his “The One Great Question” was a high school Commencement speech given in 2004, that asked:
“Who am I? …What is man? What is a human being? …What am I? Am I what I am told by my environment? Am I my ethnic identity? Am I my national identity? Am I my sexual identity? Am I my physical characteristics? Am I the opinions which have come into my mind from hearing people speak, from television, from newspapers, from my peers? …This is a great question of the heart…”
He concluded, “In the history of the world, in all the cultures of the world, the search to come in touch with the voice of the great self within, which is sometimes reflected in what we call conscience – the search for that contact requires the support of companions, friends, community.”
“How?” is different from “what?” How should we act? How should we live? How can we connect with “companions, friends, community”? My Mom came across a quote written by Lao Tzu: “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
The question “What is a person?” is a surprisingly hard question to answer. The non-philosophical answer (which would have been my answer a few weeks ago) might be something like “skin and bones” (real creative…), but it’s so much more complex. I hope this answered the question at least a bit.
____________________________
School has finished. The solstice is near. Summer is here.












Probably
Posted: June 11, 2026 Filed under: Child Centered Activities, Chronicles of a First Time Parent 3 CommentsIt is probable that teaching my son probability by playing Poker is considered morally degenerate, to some.
But then again, consider the society in which he comes of age: total lottery sales exceed $110 Billion per year, sports betting exceeds $166 Billion, while $391 Billion per year in total is spent on games of chance, a roll of the dice. How then to explain that his great grandfather, in 1918, was unable to borrow money to buy a car because auto loans were considered immoral, debt was viewed as a character flaw, cars were for pleasure not a necessity? Probability is a lesson in history and math.
The word “probability” comes from the Latin root probare which means “to test or prove,” while the word itself is derived from the adjective probabilis meaning “plausible, provable, that may be assumed to be believed.” The Roman orator Cicero built an argument upon that word, rejecting the idea that humans could attain absolute, perfect knowledge, he argued that probabilities were far more practical, politically feasible, a means to move the crowd in your favor. In 15th century Middle English the word was linked to legal credibility until it became a mathematical term around 1718.
I teach the mathematical application here at our homeschool. I am of an age that math properly should be taught using a sharpened pencil on lined paper, not online interactive like a game. I purchased a textbook from a local store. It has served us well, except, more than a few times the solutions were wrong. But even that is a teaching moment. “To test, to prove” teaches my son to question actively, not receive passively, the answers of authority. Textbooks, algorithms, and AI are not settled truth. My son needs to learn to roll up his sleeves, match and raise, have skin in the game.
My son did well on the probability chapter, but the textbook referenced playing cards several times; a noteworthy assumption. My son was unable to answer because he had never played cards. He did not know what was being asked. I was dumbstruck! I ran back to that bookstore to buy poker chips and playing cards.
I easily use equations in my carpentry, but teaching the volume or surface area of a dodecahedron, or a quadratic equation challenged me to relearn long-forgotten theorems. Ours is not the blind leading the blind, but more like the French proverb, “”Au royaume des aveugles, les borgnes sont rois” (“In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed men are kings.”)
“Papa,” my son’s Grandfather, on the other hand, is the rare bird who flies high in the world of pure mathematical truth. A PhD in Physical Chemistry/Theoretical Physics, in his first published paper, in 1977, he announced “a very fundamental conceptual error present in the traditional formulation of the entropic force between the ends of a single Gaussian macromolecule.” In other words, the classical theory of the academy was wrong.
His pioneering “Entropic approach to Brownian movement” was published in 1980 in the American Journal of Physics, and is considered the grandfather of modern Brownian entropic force modeling. In Brownian motion a particle’s movement is entirely random, but, connecting pure geometry and probability to thermodynamics, he showed that by measuring the probability distribution of a particle’s movement, there is a measurable intrinsic entropic force.
In his 2001 paper “Entropic Elasticity of Weakly Perturbed Polymers” Papa reasoned:
The probability of occurrence of an end-to-end separation r (r =|r|) for such a chain is described by r2P(r), where P(r) is the normalized field-free end-to-end distribution function, b3π−3/2exp(-b2r2) for r << Na.
From r2P(r) one may determine the standard deviation or dispersion (σ o) in r and compare it with the average value of r for a freely orienting chain not subject to an external force. σ ο 2 = <r2>o – (<r>o)2 = .23/b2. The absence of an external force is denoted by the subscript o. The result is:
σ o/<r>o = .42
Hard pressed to grasp that, my probability teaching centers on the mathematical truth:
________n!________
C ( n, k ) = k! ( n – k )!
Where n = 52 cards in the deck, k = the number of cards in the hand, and ! = the factorial function, which for 5 card stud is (5x4x3x2x1). My son’s probability of drawing any one specific hand is 1 out of 2,598,960. Steep odds, and so we began. I taught him to shuffle, to deal the cards, and the value of chips. “Applied theory” is my approach both to life as to probability; math lives at the intersection of intuition and calculation.
In poker, as in life, the odds of getting nothing are high, almost 50-50, but more precisely 0.9953015 : 1. One pair is an everyday occurrence, 1.36477 : 1, while a flush – the basic kind, neither a straight nor a royal – comes in at 507.8019 : 1, until at the apex, the summa elite, the royal flush has steep odds against, at 649,739 : 1. The unspoken lesson is that rare events can happen, so you should hold out hope.
Our poker playing plan was devilishly clever. My son is of the “anxious generation” also known as “the loneliest generation.” According to the National Social Anxiety Center, 60% of his peers report significant mental health challenges, including social anxiety, which can be paralyzing. Factors driving this spike include pandemic disruptions, consuming social media use, and diminished face-to-face interactions. Our homeschooling did not arise in a vacuum.
My son would prefer not to leave his gaming corner, let alone to leave the house, and so what better pedagogical tool than playing a game where bluffing is strategic, a “poker” face reveals nothing, while watching for “tells” is key. We play the game face-to-face, cards held high like a Maginot wall, each of us huddled behind our defense. In this bounded rule-governed space, interactions are intentional. If anxiety feels inevitable, probability suggests “we can think about this, we can figure the odds, you must play the hand you are dealt.”
We have alternated between the math text book and our game of chance. He does well with the pencil and paper – often doing the calculations in his head – but he beats me at betting more often than not. Poker between two players is less fun than with more, and he yearned to widen the circle.
That is a math lesson all its own. The odds of any one specific hand remain 1 out of 2,598,960 no matter the number of players, but the relative value of a premium hand increases. In our heads-up matches, one pair often wins. But with more players, a single pair will rarely win the pot. That means, mathematically, in a larger group you should bet more aggressively with a strong hand. Bluffing, on the other hand, is less effective with a larger group. With more people playing, the probability is high that someone else holds the premium hand, and anyone player can call your bluff, which means the odds of everyone else folding is highly improbable.
My son asked his sister and his Mother, the Goddess, repeatedly to join us, but somehow that never worked out; between work and school they are quite busy. So we invited my son’s former classmate, a close friend from before the pandemic, to come over to our house. He agreed. My son was ready with his chips and cards.
His classmate, of keen eagle eye and sharp mind, taught us to play black jack. Black jack, the most widely played casino banking game in the world, is significantly less social than 5-card stud. Blackjack unfolds between one player and the dealer, its focus only the math to reach 21. Quiet pervades, conversation is limited.
My goal inviting the “eagle eye” to our house was not math but socialization. My agenda not so hidden, nor did I intend it to be, I wanted my son to engage in play. What unfolded was exquisite and rare, more precisely a probability of 1 in 229,000 (.00044%), or maybe it was 1 in 401,138, or then again 1 in 1,153,500. My son and I are still calculating the odds.
My son dealt the cards, and we played several rounds, chatting away amicably. The pots increased in size, the chips moved back and forth. We played 5-card stud with three draws and betting rounds per hand. On the last hand, the Eagle Eye began to bet aggressively. I matched and raised. My son held back. Laying down his cards, all black, all spades, Queen, Jack, 10, 9 and a 4, the Eagle Eye smiled and quietly, confidently said, “Flush.” He was one card away from the Royal Flush.
I had an Ace up my sleeve: all black, all clubs, Ace, Jack, 7, 4, 3. Not royal, rather commoner, but Ace high beats Queen. Incredulously we gazed at the cards.
Quietly my son is coming to realize that anxiety is not an absolute, but probably, with love, devotion and surrender, he can find his way out of the gauntlet of his generation.
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Human, Flourishing
Posted: June 5, 2026 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent, What is an Art Farm 1 CommentWhat to the Romans was named Terra, to the Greeks Gaia, astronomically is classified as Sol III – the third planet from the Sun being an ocean world that harbors life with liquid surface water. Given a mass of (5.97217±0.00028)×1024 kg rotating at a breakneck speed of 1,037 miles per hour at its equator, here at 43° 38′ 29″ N / 70° 14′ 27″ W a real person coming of age learns about the materiality of life.
With the Mother Tree, he studies soil, more precisely “applied biogeochemistry,” starting with applied chemistry through field work and kitchen-based experiments. For the past eleven weeks he has examined soil, taken samples from multiple sites. He is learning that specificity is an essential attribute of knowledge.
Our backyard, for example, for centuries was the dumping ground for the real persons who have lived in this “Big House-Little House-Back House-Barn,” the classic New England farmhouse from the 1800s. Long before municipal waste collection, the people would toss their detritus “out back.” Their attention was focused on their vegetable fields growing in front of the house, so the back yard was left untended, a waste heap. We endlessly dig up broken glass, as well as a perfectly intact coffee mug, empty bottles of elixir, and other assorted sundry items.
My son has been digging holes out back, to study the soil, which is not “dirt” but something wonderfully complex, biotically rich, far more specific and particular. Of the Hollis Fine Sandy Loam variety, the soil here is classified by the Natural Resources Conservation Service as prime farmland. This 200-year old farmhouse was not built with heavy equipment pushing fill, and then landscaped with commercial sod grown on some industrial farm a few states away; original to this site, our soil is a biological archive of hundreds or thousands of years.
As guided by the Mother Tree, my son has used transects to mark a section of the back yard and drawn a map. He dug holes 6” deep and, having taken soil samples from five sites, studied their percolation rates, to understand compaction and composition. This hole is not like that hole; this hole percolates 1” per 3 minutes while that hole percolates 1/16” per 3 minutes. “Why is that?” we asked.
He made a quadrat – a standardized sampling frame, a window into place – then threw it randomly within the marked off section, to isolate specific areas, to systematically count, identify and measure the abundance, or lack, of plants and bio-mass. “What is that?” we asked.
On the space-time continuum, my son, a real person, during this academic year has been constructing a mental framework – structure and method, applied – to learn about place, one specific place, this yard, where he is becoming an adult real person. The Mother Tree has helped him to “think well,” not by locked logic but creatively.
Cynefin is a word among the Welsh people, with no direct translation into English. Literally it can mean “habitat” or “familiar place” but at a deeper level it describes an integral sense of belonging, the deeply intertwined factors of being, heritage, stories and traditions shared within family and community. In my teaching, emotional connection lies at the core of cynefin. This treasure trove among real persons, AI’s Ziggurat of the cloud lacks, entirely. The young real person growing here, on the Hollis Fine Sandy Loam of this art farm, accrues daily, slowly, a specific knowledge, grounded in emotional intelligence, that will become his identity.
Our quest to define “what is a person?” expanded this week to include “what is place?” which lead us to have a chat with his Cousin, the Professor of Law. I had expected to discuss the legal fiction of corpus fictum but the Cousin took the conversation in an entirely different, magnificent, direction.
Me: So, let’s begin with the definitions of a person: do you remember Plato’s?
My son: Uhhh…the chicken…with no feathers?
Me: correct. And Aristotle…?
My son: (silence)
Me: The animal…the political animal?
My son: Right.
Me: We also had the Sanskrit and the buddhist…with materiality shared among all of the definitions. Materiality seems basic to personhood. Our bodies.
Cousin: But is that a distinction of kind or form? I have a colleague here who studies bio-ethics, which is ethics at the edge of humanity. For example, genetically engineered monkeys replacing their genes with human genes to give birth to humans. Or pigs used to grow human organs.
My son: What do they feed it?
Cousin: Great question. Would a monkey with human ovaries and a womb need human food? To define humans as material is not precise. A person with a mechanical heart – a pacemaker – is still a person. This is a logical puzzle. A pig with a human organ is not human, but a human with a mechanical heart is still a human. So the distinction is not only material but form defines a human. Form = ends. Do you know the Greek word telos? It means what is something pointed towards? What is its ultimate aim? So, what is the end purpose in Aristotle’s definition?
My son: (pause, leans back in his chair) As simple as politics?
Cousin: Politics, yes, but what does he mean? (Pause) A “polity” = a political society.
Me: I should say, the words are derived from the Greek “polis” which means “city.” Metropolis is a city area. Metropolitan Transit is the bus line serving the city. The political animals live in cities, some organization, which is political.
Cousin: Aristotle’s definition of a political society is “a free people coming together to debate how ought we to order our lives together?” So what makes us distinctively human? What is the key word there?
My son: “Free” ?
Cousin: What about “free” makes us different from other animals?
My son: Well…humans are more developed, we have more opportunities.
Cousin: Is there a difference between human and animal? Is the difference of degree or kind? A categorical difference? Think back to “free”. Is there a kind of opportunity that we have that is different from animals?
My son: Humans have…I think about this some times, “why are humans the most developed? Why don’t guinea pigs drive cars?” We have more opportunities because we are more developed. We have choices.
Cousin: “Choosing”…that is huge.
My son: (leans back in his chair) Our dog has choices in…maybe this is too broad…she can decide to eat or not, she can go in the yard BUT we can choose other foods but she cannot. Maisie gets only one kind of food. She cannot communicate – she can bark but not talk. So it is harder for her to communicate. We make decisions for her. An animal in the wild has more choices. Domesticated animals…we make more choices for them. We make the major decisions.
Cousin: So you tie freedom with communication. Aristotle used the word “debate” in his definition. Let’s push further. What is the one word that we confront here, that is the key in his definition: “a free people coming together to debate how ought we to order our lives together?”
My son: (pause)
Me: We know we are talking about people… we have discussed “free” the adjective. And “debate” the verb. The key term is not going to be the pronouns “we” or “our” so…
My son: It is not going to be “together” because animals live in a pack. (Pause). “Ought?”
Cousin: What do we mean by “ought?”
My son: You “should”
Cousin: What kind of judgment is that? If I say “you ought to give a dollar” or “you ought not hit someone” ?
My son: You are proposing an idea?
Cousin: The “ought” has a meaning that begins with the letter M…
My son: Is “ought”…(pause)…a “mandate”?
Cousin: A dog could have a mandate. It needs to eat. What kind of a judgment…what is the basis for saying that?
My son: (pause)
Cousin: The word is “moral”
My son: Ohhhh!!!
Cousin: It is distinct to humans about morality. A dog might make a mess but that is not immoral. Humans as moral is the through line. Morality gives weight to the decisions that we make. It is ordering our lives together – so do packs of animals but the human form of animal is different due to the moral element. We are not only biological but a human flourishing. We are moral agents. How does that sound to you?
My son: (pause) I think I understand the topic better.
Cousin: Do animals have morality?
My son: I think animals – well, I don’t know how they process thoughts – but in the wild animals do not think of a moral question. They need to survive. I have heard that dog squeaky toys = the sound of an animal suffering. Dogs like that sound. But humans…do all humans have a moral capacity? Yes, but some are more aware than others. Not all vegans but many see that as a moral issue. Some vegans eat that way for health, but some as morally wrong. Others have no concern. All humans have some amount of morality, but it is stronger for some people.
Me: Do you remember last year we discussed Plato and the virtues: the good, the true and the beautiful; the ultimate divine reality. We are touching on that here. I have been thinking about compassion and here we talk about morality. How are those different? Morality can imply a guilt and remorse.
Cousin: Once we have the idea of morality as a defining characteristic then “what do we mean by morality?” There are three basic types:
- Utilitarianism: our goal is to maximize pleasure for the greatest number of persons
- Ontological reality: we live by a set of rules (as an architecture of the mind, we perceive the unknowable by imposing innate rules and categories)
- Virtue ethics: our purpose is to cultivate virtues (not by rules or consequences but by character, itself). Compassion is a virtue.
Me: So utilitarianism would be “homo economicus” – real persons as narrowly selfish agents driven entirely to maximize utility and personal gain.
Cousin: Correct. Ontological would be Immanuel Kant. He established rules for how we think. For the “Virtue Ethics” Aquinas said there are 7 cardinal virtues.
Me: “Cardinal” here means “primary”
My son: Like the cardinal directions…
Me: …north, east, south and west. Correct.
Cousin: Aquinas said there are three theological virtues: faith, hope and charity plus Aristotle’s four virtues: fortitude, temperance, prudence, justice. Justice means that everyone should get their due. Fortitude means courage. Temperance means self-restraint. What is compassion? A blend of charity and justice. Compassion is a virtue ethic, a morally flourishing person cultivating virtues. Any virtue like compassion is a secondary…the cardinal virtues are like the palette used to blend the other virtues.
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As our year draws to a close, we plan a summative project that will include art-making; the “cardinal virtues like the palette” is perfect. The act of making is particular, manifest and specific; the artist must choose, which mirrors precisely the action of moral agency.
Our definition of a person expands to become “a thought bearing biped mammal, not only biological but a human flourishing as moral agent, with consciousness of purpose, meaning, intuition and connection.” We go deeper into our understanding of persons and place, the specificity of being, further from the delusion of Ziggurats in the AI cloud.












