John Medina’s “Brain Rules for Baby”
Posted: July 6, 2011 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent, Gallery - Quotes 2 CommentsThe brain’s day job is not for learning
First, I need to correct a misconception. Many well-meaning moms and dads think their child’s brain is interested in learning. That is not accurate. The brain is not interested in learning. The brain is interested in surviving. Every ability in our intellectual tool kit was engineered to escape extinction. Learning only exists to serve the requirements of this primal goal. It is a happy coincidence that our intellectual tools can do double duty in the classroom, conferring on us the ability to create spreadsheets and speak French. But that’s not the brain’s day job. That is an incidental byproduct of a much deeper force: the gnawing, clawing desire to live to the next day. We do not survive so that we can learn. We learn so that we can survive.
This overarching goal predicts many things, and here’s the most important: If you want a well-educated child, you must create an environment of safety. When the brain’s safety needs are met, it will allow its neurons to moonlight in algebra classes. When safety needs are not met, algebra goes out the window.
Anger Management
Posted: July 5, 2011 Filed under: Child Centered Activities, Chronicles of a First Time Parent 1 CommentWell, at 2 years old, there seems to be something of a daily roller-coaster ride between cuddling in mama’s arms, and running as fast as she can towards the busy street (despite my screams for her to stop). Have mercy. I’ve come to expect the split personality – “no I don’t want that, take it away” followed immediately by “it’s MINE, you cannot have it”.
She is a passionate one, bellowing out her thoughts with such fervor, someone in earshot might think she’s protesting. Her fury has the same intensity. We’ve started a mini collection of drums and noise makers to go to when we “need to bang” on something. When she is having a moment, I suggest she choose a drum to “bang on until you feel better”. I act it out sporting a mad face. Between my looking silly impersonating a mad toddler, her feelings being acknowledged, and an outlet being offered, the drums haven’t been needed to diffuse the situation (yet).
Nursery Furniture
Posted: May 21, 2011 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent, Gallery - Visual 1 CommentIn January of 2009, during Becca’s third trimester, I was laid off from my job as a cabinetmaker. Whoa! Well, as fortune would have it, the layoff gave lots of free time to complete the furniture I was building for the nursery. And the approaching deadline kept me plenty busy.
I converted an old bookcase into a changing table, adding four storage drawers.
Using all scrap wood, I built a pair of chests, with cherry for the cases and maple for the top.
This is my friend Bill’s house and shop where the furniture was built.
7 lbs 9.4 oz of No Regrets
Posted: May 14, 2011 Filed under: Chronicles of a First Time Parent 1 Comment
Separately and together we each held off on having a child. Because we were wise to live some life first? To gain more experiences to share with our child? Because we were knee deep in successful and fulfilling careers? Or because we were terrified of it? I’ll speak for myself. I was terrified of having a child…the responsibility, the 24/7-ness of it and my growing vocabulary of “what-if’s”. Working with children over the years did tempt me with thoughts of adoption as well as having one of my own. However, witnessing such darkness in the lives of these children and their experiences made me concerned for how I would be able to protect my own child, while still giving him/her space to grow.
After a solid 7 years knowing my now husband and learning the depths to which I could trust and rely on him, I began to open up to the possibility of having a child. We learned I was pregnant in August of 2008 and I went on to have a healthy pregnancy. Our daughter joined us in April of 2009 and I’ve been counting my blessings ever since.
It’s not about hovering, worrying, living with the “what-if”s”, but about opening up, expanding, breathing deep and with eyes wide open. To be her guide I need to live, breathe and practice the qualities and values I want her to embody. The icing on this cake is not only do we have a beautiful, happy and healthy daughter, but we are becoming better individuals as well.
an Art Farm 