Benham-Bishop Donuts

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In the quiet New England night, snow gently falls.  1920s jazz plays in our warm kitchen.  A family tradition continues.  

There seems to be something about donuts and New England.  In Boston, in the late 1940s, two brothers-in-law, Harry Winouker and Bill Rosenberg, had a Donut-making partnership, then a falling out, and each went their separate ways: Harry to found Mister Donut and Bill to launch Dunkin Donuts.

Robert McCloskey, the Maine-based Caldecott Medal winning author of childrens’ books, wrote the famous stories of Homer Price and the unstoppable donut making machine.

I have known of families here who pass down between generations the grease used to fry the family donuts.  It is the recipe, in our family, passed down, and even, as the story is told, the recipe once was sent by Western Union telegram.  The tradition, you see, must be continued.

On a snowy night, while 1920s jazz played, I learned to make donuts on Forbes Avenue in Northhampton, Massachusetts.  Helen Benham Bishop, my teacher, danced and swayed while adding a dash of nutmeg, 1 scant teaspoon of salt, some sugar, egg and shortening, and enough flour until the spoon stood straight.  By feel she followed the recipe. And then let the dough rest, in a warm place, until the morning.

As a child, Helen spent summers on the Beach at Hawk’s Nest, Connecticut.  She and her brother listened to jazz on a hand-crank Victrola carried out on the sand.  In those days, her great aunts Emma, Irene and Estella would knead the dough and then let it rest, until the morning when the children would gather round, ready to fry and then feast upon fresh donuts, with a dash of nutmeg, rolled in powdered sugar.

I inherited that tradition.  I pass it along to my nieces and children.  My oath, that night – nine years ago on Forbes Avenue – was that I would safeguard the tradition.

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My nieces are visiting for the holidays, and so it is time again.  Tonight, in our warm snug home, the dough rests.  Tomorrow morning we will gather and laugh, again shall carry on tradition.

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Petrokus

Petrokus was our family’s pig.  Well, half the pig was ours.

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On a rainy saturday, one week ago, he was loaded into a trailer and I told my daughter E, “He is going to another farm.”  That was true, by half.  “Why?” she asked.  “Well, he has gotten too big for Dan’s farm.”  That was completely true.  He had grown to almost 400 pounds.

He spent the weekend in that trailer, at the other farm, until Monday when he was taken to the slaughter-house.  I wasn’t sure how to broach that topic with E so I had punted.  But this morning, we made the long drive up to West Gardiner Beef.  We loaded the car and headed back home.  I felt it was time to talk about our payload.

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Of all the “big” conversations I might have with my children, I would anticipate the topics of sex and drugs.  The source of our family’s food, however, would hardly seem to belong on that list.  But I was feeling pretty uneasy.

We are trying to live as close to the land as practical, and when friends offered to co-raise a grain-fed hog, that was a welcome opportunity.  I love pork: braised, brined or roasted; pan seared or smoked “low & slow”; dry rub, salt cure, wet mop – whatever the manner, I love it all.  My daughter does too.  Becca is sure this gene was inherited from my side of the family.

We visited Petrokus during the summer.  We talked about him when we purchased grain at the feed store.  We touched upon the idea that Petrokus would provide our family with food.  We want our children to know their food and its source.  The issue of slaughtering may very well have been my own.

On the way to the slaughterhouse, I had told E that we were going to get some meat.  Now I needed to add some details.  I eased into the conversation.

“So, E…the meat that we are carrying is…from…Petrokus.”

I pondered that phrasing.  Was it better, clearer to say “…is Petrokus” ?  I distanced the animal and the act by inserting “from.”  I continued, “He gave his life, gave us food.”

Silently, she looked out the window at the bare trees.  I did not want to rush the conversation so I gave the silence plenty of time.

“Did the butcher…did the butcher…hurt him?”

The topic of “hurt” is commonplace in our conversations.  She might ask if a pencil hurts paper when she makes marks, if it hurts a carrot when she takes a bite, if it hurts a tree when the winds blow.  “Hurt” is her three-year-old variant of “Why?”  So her question was not as loaded as it might seem.

I thought about Chuang Tzu’s zen tale of the butcher and the oxen.  At first he “saw the Ox as one mass.”  With experience comes insight and then “My whole being apprehends.  My senses are idle.  The spirit free to work without plan follows its own instinct, guided by natural line, by the secret opening, the hidden space, my cleaver finds its own way.  I cut through no joint, chop no bone.”

What I said was, “The butcher did his job well.  So it is okay.”

More silence.

“It is sacred,” I continued, “when an animal gives its life to feed us.  We are thankful.”

Silence.

Her thoughts drifted to her new-born brother.  “Will we be able to share this delicious meat with Milo?”

It must be in the genes!  “Yes,” I said, not opening the question of how long before a newborn could be fed pork.

In silence, she looked out the car window.

Then finally, “Will we have another pig next year?”

So our conversation passed without trauma.  Or perhaps this is just the first phase of a long ongoing conversation, with changing feelings, about the source of our food.  Certainly she will have much to say on the topic.

For the record, here are some facts about the fattening of Petrokus:

– purchased the suckling pig on 1 May, approx 18 weeks old;

– consumed 1,100 pounds of Blue Seal “Pig & Sow” grain pellets and 650 pounds of Blue Seal “steamed flaked corn.”

– hanging weight at slaughter: 370 pounds (that is super huge); fresh meat includes pork chops, shoulder roast, loin roast, spare ribs, fresh bacon, salt pork, liver, ground pork, the remaining meat will have a maple brown sugar rub and be hickory smoked, including two hams, bacon, and hocks.

wide pine floors

Pregnancy weeks 33 and 34 have been wicked busy with flooring and finishes.  We are on schedule and under budget, but running a deficit on sleep.

Everything now is driven by getting the radiators installed; in order of sequence, the walls and ceiling needed to be painted, the floor then installed and finished, the base molding cut, primed, painted and installed, and then the radiators hung.  A different order of sequence would get heat in sooner, but it would be a much less clean install.

It is worth the effort and push, but the mild weather of October has passed quickly.  Tonight we are having a Nor’easter and temperatures will drop down below freezing.  The good news is that the flooring and finishes are complete.

Eastern White Pine floors fit our budget, and we love that look.  The softest of woods, the boards will dent and ding over the years, but you know, these indigenous trees of the region have provided flooring for hundreds of years throughout thousands of New England homes.  Cherry, Oak or Maple may be the vogue today but white pine floors have a long tradition and we chose to follow that path.

I sourced the boards from a mill in Mercer, Maine.  I mean to say, that the wood came from trees felled in Somerset County.  Our floor is local.  I purchased 540 square feet of 3/4″ thick “tongue in groove” boards in widths up to 18″ and lengths up to 16 feet.  This length assured that our floor as no joints.  It is a beautiful floor.  “It looks like a table top,” the tradesmen say.

I purchased “premium”, which is marketing talk for wood of a lesser grade – knots that is – but because the sawyer is retiring this month, he sent down clear “select” – boards without knots. One of the boards, 18″ wide and 16 feet long, has no knots and no sap.  18″ of heartwood!

“King Pine” they are called here.  In Colonial times, by Royal decree, all white pine trees with a diameter more than 24″ belonged to King George I, to be used as masts for the ships of his Navy.  But 18″ of heartwood without knots would only come from the center of a trunk much greater than 24″.  It is easy to think that tree could have been 48″ in diameter with a height pushing upward of 150 feet.  A massive tree.  Regrettably felled, but now having a pride of place in the center of our dining room floor.

The boards arrived on the bed of a pick up truck.  I laid the floor with the help of a friend, Glen P, a Master Carpenter, among many skills (see my blog “Resourceful” of 19 September).  In exchange for not bringing his tools he deeply discounted his rates, but he did bring more than 25 years’ experience and savvy.  We used all of it.

First we measured the diagonals to check that the room was square.  Surprisingly it was only about 3/4″ off square.  Then we laid red rosin paper over the subfloor to ensure the floors won’t creak.  The paper acts as a barrier between the subfloor and top layer, so that the expansion of the boards moves freely.

We cleaned any dust or wood chips as we went along, careful here lest they get trapped under the boards and cause creaking.

It took us 38 hours – two days – to lay the floor.  In a 180-year old house, the floors pitch and roll like a ride at Coney Island.  In new construction you might be able to glue the boards in place, or use cut nails, but we needed the bite of screws.  We toe-nailed the boards in place, and then screwed down the groove side using 2 1/4″ course thread square drive trim nails, placed approx every 24 inches.  It is very clean.

Glen taught me to set the screws by “reverse drilling” (putting the driver in reverse, counter-clockwise) while pushing the screw down into the wood.  It is counter intuitive, at the least, but it breaks the wood grain, so that – after turning the driver to forward (clockwise) rotation – the screw will cleanly enter rather than ripping the grain.  Small details matter.

We set the screws approx 1/4′ deep into the boards, and later I filled the holes using Woodwise brand “Maple-Ash-Pine” wood putty.  By setting the screws into the sapwood, the color match is closer.

It was a lot of work but we got the job done.  All credit goes to Glen.  The floor is beautiful!  Every tradesman who enters the house stops and stares at it.

I thought long and hard about the finish – urethane or oil?  I opted for Tung Oil – the traditional finish – which would penetrate the wood, rather than sit on top.  Research lead me to the Waterlox Sealer-Finish, which will not show water stains.  I heard that “Danish Oil” products will not safeguard against water stains and wanted to stay clear of that.  But Waterlox requires four coats, plus 72 hours to hard-cure – at 65 degrees.  I am working in an unheated Maine farmhouse, so easily the cure time could be double.  And the cost was going to run upwards of $1 per square foot.  I definitely had not the time, and preferred not to incur that cost.

Laying the floor took longer than I expected, pushing me deeper into the cold season.  The mild October has moved into a Noreasterly November – cold and damp – and I decided that I could not hold out for the traditional finish.  Also, Noah, my contractor, said that the tung oil would not block stains from grape juice, etc, which is likely given two little children.  Tung oil was beginning to look less and less attractive.

I chose to use a water-based urethane finish from Vermont Natural Coatings.  It is made from recycled whey protein of dairy farms.  The product is low VOC, has neither odor nor dryers, but cures – in normal conditions – in one hour.  In my cold house it has cured in approx three hours.  The manufacturer suggests three coats but it seems that I will need four coats.  Even requiring a fourth coat, I have happily solved the cure time issue.

Tonight I will apply the third coat.  I will sand with 150 grit between each coat.  Hopefully by the end of this weekend I will have the final finish on the wide pine floor.

Here is a photo of the floor after two coats.  


Diffusing the Mad

Well, I anticipated a bumpy Fall for our daughter starting Pre K, preparing for the arrival of a baby brother and gearing up to move into a new home.  What I did not anticipate was the utter grief and confusion she would experience with her father’s frequent absences.  David has been doing a good bit of the rehab himself and this combined with a full time job and preparing for another baby is enough for any adult to manage and try to cope with.  To a 3 1/2 year old child, it’s enough to tilt her axis.  I confess I have been less than my idea of a good mother through many of the melt-downs, and last night’s was epic.  I sent her to her room following some acting out and anger directed at me. I told her to come down when she felt able to make different choices.  She went upstairs and screamed and sobbed for “daddy”.  I felt helpless. Quite honestly I feel as big as a boat and as tired as any 42 year old might be in the 3rd trimester. I’ve been at the wall with how to navigate through all of this.

I got out some paper and oil pastels and started making marks…marks to describe how I felt.  Later, my daughter quieted and we had some cuddling and talked about things that make her feel better when she’s upset.  She listed off things like rocking in her chair, listening to stories, and I asked if she would like to see the picture I started, showing the strong feelings that I was having.  Soon she was adding to the picture with bold, frenzied, strong-armed marks and telling me how MAD they were.  She seemed to walk back through that energy but in a more contained way with the marks on paper.  It was something.  I witnessed, I watched and I was greatly reassured that we will all get through this. Not around it, not over or under, but through.

It’s 9 at night as I write this.  David’s task tonight is sanding the new pine boards in the kitchen/dining room.  Our girl just yelled out for him and again, he’s not here.  I went in to try and comfort her and surprisingly she didn’t refuse me.  She asked why daddy wasn’t home yet.  I explained what he was doing again and it FINALLY occurred to me to get her one of his shirts to sniff and cuddle with while she went to sleep.  A big smile, two thumbs up and now, 20 minutes later it is quiet.


pressing apples


Apples are a staple of New England and I took this afternoon off from the house project to press apples for cider.

At my day job, I tend an orchard of 100-year old apple trees, a mixture of Cortland, Macintosh, Golden Delicious and some unidentified astringent varieties.  While not good for eating, the astringent are excellent in cider, adding a complexity to the flavor.

I pressed the apples over at my friend David Buchanan’s farm in Pownal Maine.  David has recently had a book ‘TASTE Memory: Forgotten Foods, Lost Flavors, and Why They Matter” published by Chelsea Green Publishing in Vermont.

David is a serious cider enthusiast and has a first-rate operation.  The first step is grinding the apples.  In the photo below you can see the drop shoot, motor and receiving bucket of the grinder.

The mash is then placed into the water press.  The press has a water bladder in the center of a round metal colander.  The apple mash goes inside the colander and the valve is opened, filling the bladder with water.  The pressure forces the apples against the metal colander, crushing them and extracting the juice.

The pomace – the mass left over after the juice has been extracted – was cleaned out and scattered in the woods for the deer.  Nothing was wasted.  We pressed 8 bushels and got 18+ gallons of juice.  It is absolutely delicious!


Barn Beams…round 2

What remains of the barn now are planks stacked in the shed, or beams piled out front of the house, under a blue tarp.  Quite a bit, actually.

My scavenging was compelled not by a plan to use the wood, but its untold poetry.  Not that I ever will know its text.  I just want to preserve the chance.

Our friend John, a farmer poet, shared thoughts recently, about an old barn from his family:

“…[in] the summer of 88, when my pop decided that the barn behind our house on the Gaspe coast (both built by my great great Irish grandpap) was ready to given up its ghosts and come down.

“He paid a man (who was infamous for having killed another in a fist fight) to dismantle it in exchange for the wood.  Decades later, he’d finally admit that he’d come to regret the decision, wishing he’d kept at least enough to frame a small chalet behind the place.

“Economic necessity pressing (we had 5 kids supported by a teacher’s wage), he still contends that he had no choice.  That said, I can feel the sadness in his voice when he talks about it.

“Our people were in those beams, their sweat soaked into the grain, the low moaning song of their lovely cows worked into the patina.  It’s good to hear you’re keeping some of the bones of the space, honoring the makers, the maker and the dark forest from which those timbers were likely culled.”


gathering stones

For our kitchen cabinets, we are going to make pull knobs using beach stones.  Today was a perfect mid-autumn day, and we went gathering along the cliff walk.

These photos capture the story, but not the majestic sound of the surf.  We can only imagine how the awesome coast sounded to our little one inside Becca’s belly.


dense pack cellulose

The primary objectives of our rehab have been heat and weatherization.  The latter has been accomplished by creating an eight inch wall cavity, filled with dense pack cellulose insulation.

After the demo of the lathe and horse-hair plaster, we built a new inner wall using 2×4 studs.  We then attached a fine mesh cloth to the studs, and applied 1 x 3 pine strapping.  The strapping would hold the mesh firmly after the cellulose was blown in place.

This photo (to the left) shows the mesh before the strapping.  The photo to the right shows the strapping applied, and the cellulose being blown in place.

Cellulose is made of 80% post consumer recycled newsprint (we have gained a new respect for our print journalism family members!) treated with borates to resist fire, insects, and mold.

The Building and Construction Technology group at UMass Amherst has done studies on cellulose and reports “insulating a 1500 sq ft house with cellulose will recycle as much newspaper as an individual will consume in 40 years.”  (Our house measures 1300 sf).

When I asked how stable cellulose was, the crew chief said the cellulose “will last as long as the house.”  Dense pack cellulose – blown into place by high-powered fans – is effective at blocking air leakage through cracks, holes, and gaps.  Our 190 year-old house had plenty of those.

The r-factor of cellulose (the rate at which heat is transferred through the cavity) is rated somewhere between 3.7 to 4 per inch of wall cavity.  Because our inner wall studs do not line up with the old exterior studs, (the new studs are 16″ on center, but the old studs are at odd intervals) the thermal bridging is reduced.  If the inner studs matched the outer studs, we would have a series of 16″ cavities.  In our house, however, the new and old studs do not match up, creating a thermal cavity with more area, thereby creating a greater insulated mass.

At 4-r per inch we should surpass 30-r, putting us into the super-insulated category.  I am told.

We blew the cellulose into the walls, the attic, and the crawlspace.    Our attic insulation achieved an R-factor of 60.

Prepping the crawl space was a dismal task.  A dirt floor, 16 feet long by 5.5 feet wide, with varmint holes below and spider webs above, I had to crawl into that space to apply the mesh netting.  (I kept wondering if a gopher would poke up its head!)  The space varies from 18″ to 9″ high – a wicked tight space to work overhead, lying on your back.  For three hours.

It wasn’t much of a choice.  Applying no insulation would leave a cold zone along our bedroom floor.  That work achieved an R-factor of approximately 20.

On a cold January morning that will have been well worth the effort!

Next I plan to lay 10-millimeter plastic over the dirt floor to create a vapor barrier.  Eventually, we will apply spray foam insulation to the brick walls of the crawlspace to create as tight an insulation as possible.


tumbling down the barn

The question had been, should we cut the ell from the barn or the barn from the ell.  I chose the latter, which meant that the common wall between the barn and the ell would remain; it would not be pretty but we would not have to build a new exterior wall to the ell.  This would save us hundreds of dollars.

I began by drilling holes through the barn wall, above the roof line of the ell. (upper left photo).  I wanted to mark a line along which to cut, while being sure not to cut into the Ell roof.

Then I took the trusty sawz-all and cut with abandon.  The wood crumbled rather than cut, and my certainty increased that tearing down the barn was the right course.  Restoration of the barn was not only cost prohibitive, it was not possible.  The wood was rotted through.

My cuts were not pretty.  I chunked out pieces, cutting a wide swath, to ensure the barn would fall freely away from the ell.  We could not risk losing the ell along with the barn.

It didn’t take long – maybe two hours – to separate the two structures.  It took half that time to bring the barn down.

Our friend Russ brought over his excavator and chowed through the barn, the jaws of his machine chomping and ripping boards free.

Regretably, I had to leave to run an errand, and within an hour I returned to a void, where the barn had been.  I missed the grand whoosh when the barn collapsed into itself, crumbling down into a heap.

Before the demo I had been able to pull lots of decking and many beams.  I will be able to make a killer tree fort for our children, and we have gained a great addition to our lawn and garden.



Haz Mat

After removing three oil tanks, two chimneys, one pellet stove,  one oil furnace – having run the table, heating wise, you could say – we wondered about this odd-shaped device, rusted and ominously anchored to the basement wall.

Something told me to call the utility.  “There are rusted old pipes and before I remove them I would like you to take a look.  And, by the way, there is a natural gas converter from the oil furnace.  You may as well take that back too.”  A perfunctory call.   Prudent nonetheless.

Roger, a natural gas man, arrived in his white fleet car.  The gas converter was a five-minute detail.  He was glad to get that back.  That odd-shaped device in the basement – like a UFO from Roswell New Mexico – unleashed a whole new dimension.

“Do NOT touch that!” he exclaimed.  “That is a mercury regulator!  I thought we had retrieved all those!”  He gazed at it, excitement mounting, as though our basement held an elixir to the doldrums of a mid-career utility man.  “That is maybe from the 1950s.  Those were popular when my father worked in the natural gas business.  But mercury became taboo in the 1990s so we started taking them out.  I thought we had gotten them all by now.”  My heart sank to my stomach.  Was this the dreaded “other shoe,” discovered at last in our basement?

He continued, “You cannot remove that.  If the mercury falls onto your floor this basement will be covered with men in white suits.  That needs to be removed by a hazardous waste specialist.”

My stomach began churning with dollar signs.  Roger said, “This needs to be removed by the utility.  The utility foots the bill.”  My interest piqued, excitedly.  “Could you repeat that?” I asked?

Roger called his boss, and then called his boss’s boss (and made a point of telling me so).  I asked again.  Are you saying this will be removed by the utility, at no cost to me?  “Yes,” he said.  Proudly.  “But it may take some time.”

So here we are.  Waiting in line, not sure our number.  Not able to get info from the utility.  And the rusted relic waits, quietly by the wall, until come the men in white suits.

Hopefully before we move in.

But never will I touch that singular non-DIY object in the house.