Diffusing the Mad
Posted: November 3, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Child Centered Activities, Permaculture & Home Renovation 5 CommentsWell, I anticipated a bumpy Fall for our daughter starting Pre K, preparing for the arrival of a baby brother and gearing up to move into a new home. What I did not anticipate was the utter grief and confusion she would experience with her father’s frequent absences. David has been doing a good bit of the rehab himself and this combined with a full time job and preparing for another baby is enough for any adult to manage and try to cope with. To a 3 1/2 year old child, it’s enough to tilt her axis. I confess I have been less than my idea of a good mother through many of the melt-downs, and last night’s was epic. I sent her to her room following some acting out and anger directed at me. I told her to come down when she felt able to make different choices. She went upstairs and screamed and sobbed for “daddy”. I felt helpless. Quite honestly I feel as big as a boat and as tired as any 42 year old might be in the 3rd trimester. I’ve been at the wall with how to navigate through all of this.
I got out some paper and oil pastels and started making marks…marks to describe how I felt. Later, my daughter quieted and we had some cuddling and talked about things that make her feel better when she’s upset. She listed off things like rocking in her chair, listening to stories, and I asked if she would like to see the picture I started, showing the strong feelings that I was having. Soon she was adding to the picture with bold, frenzied, strong-armed marks and telling me how MAD they were. She seemed to walk back through that energy but in a more contained way with the marks on paper. It was something. I witnessed, I watched and I was greatly reassured that we will all get through this. Not around it, not over or under, but through.
It’s 9 at night as I write this. David’s task tonight is sanding the new pine boards in the kitchen/dining room. Our girl just yelled out for him and again, he’s not here. I went in to try and comfort her and surprisingly she didn’t refuse me. She asked why daddy wasn’t home yet. I explained what he was doing again and it FINALLY occurred to me to get her one of his shirts to sniff and cuddle with while she went to sleep. A big smile, two thumbs up and now, 20 minutes later it is quiet.
our rose will remain
Posted: September 27, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Permaculture & Home Renovation 3 Commentshaving gutted the house, filled a dumpster, carried out fossil fuels and old oil tanks, heaved bags of insulation down from the attic, yanked out plants overgrown along the foundation, I came across this white rose; a sentry to our new house, sending out three fragrant blossoms, in late september. things go well. this is the start of our garden.
“Drunk With Pines”, Neruda
Posted: August 12, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes Leave a commentCould Neruda be the contemporary descendant of Sappho?
Drunk with pines and long kisses, / like summer I steer the fast sail of the roses, / bent towards the death of the thin day, / stuck into my solid marine madness.
Pale and lashed to my ravenous water, / I cruise in the sour smell of the naked climate, / still dressed in gray and bitter sounds / and a sad crest of abandoned spray.
Hardened by passions, I go mounted on my one wave, / lunar, solar, burning and cold, all at once, / becalmed in the throat of the fortunate isles / that are white and sweet as cool hips.
In the moist night my garment of kisses trembles / charged to insanity with electric currents, / heroically divided into dreams / and intoxicating roses practicing on me.
Upstream, in the midst of the outer waves, / your parallel body yields to my arms / like a fish infinitely fastened to my soul, / quick and slow, in the energy under the sky.
“Afroditi of the Flowers at Knossos”, Sappho
Posted: August 11, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes 1 CommentIn this poem, Sappho invites the Goddess of Love to partake in the celebration.
Afroditi of the Flowers at Knossos
“Hermis at a Wedding”, Sappho
Posted: August 10, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes Leave a commentThere a bowl of ambrosia
was mixed, and Hermis
took the jug and poured wine for the gods
and then they all
held out cups and poured
libations and prayed for all blessings
for the groom.
“Of a Young Lover,” Sappho (fragment)
Posted: August 9, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes Leave a commentWhen I was young I wove garlands
“Songs” Sappho
Posted: August 8, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes Leave a commentto the Groom:
What are you like, lovely bridegroom? / You are most like a slender sapling.
for the Bride:
O bridegroom, there is no other woman now / like her
“Song to Groom and Bride”, Sappho
Posted: August 7, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes Leave a commentIt is common these days to speak of your “partner” or your “significant other.” Very practical. I wonder, though, if we haven’t traded bliss for the quotidian, and lost much in the exchange.
Isn’t the essence of love to melt and merge, to reach bliss, even an enduring and seasoned bliss, where “other” is lost? To be sure, balance requires the distinction of two, while endurance demands the solidity of one. It is love, pure and simple, that soaring arrow, aimed high, which arches gracefully toward the apex.
When did we let go of a “love affair?” How have we lost use of that glorious phrase? Let us travel that path now, and let Sappho be our guide. Over the next few blogs, we will listen to her songs, beginning here with “Song to the Groom and Bride.”
Happy groom,
your marriage you prayed for
has happened.
You have the virgin bride
of your prayer.
You the bride
are a form of grace,
your eyes honey.
Desire rains on your exquisite face.
Afroditi has honored you exceedingly.
Bringing a Moose to Bear Mountain
Posted: August 5, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing Leave a commentRecently I had the great pleasure of working with Johnston Foster, hanging his Moosehead Trophy sculpture on a mantle on Bear Mountain Road in Carrabassett Valley, Maine.
Johnston is immensely talented. His sculptures are made of detritus gathered along highways and back alleys, then transformed into powerful images. This piece measures 4′ high x 6′ wide. It was quite a challenge to hang that piece, but we figured it out.
“Habitation,” Margaret Atwood
Posted: August 3, 2012 Filed under: Art & Healing, Gallery - Quotes 2 CommentsMarriage is not
a house or even a tent
it is before that, and colder:
the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert
the unpainted stairs
at the back where we squat
outside, eating popcorn
the edge of the receding glacier
where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far
we are learning to make fire






